welll today is a 200 calorie day... this morning i ate 2 things of celery and green tea. so its like no calories. lol. today im going to put in a bunch of applications and get my boyfriend 2 year anniverisary present. im excited :)

wish me luck on the applications!! i seriously need a job!!

hahaha today was a 100 calorie day...

i ate 3 pieces of pizza and 2 fried egg sandwhiches.

wayyyy over 100 calories!!! haha i suck!

and i gained 2 lbs. im now 179. but i weighed my self when i got home which happened to be like 1/2 hour after i ate...so that might be part of it. but tommorow is 200 calories and i probably wont eat even that.

TGIF!!! this week has been long but short at the same time??? idk how to explain. alot of people were gone today because there were 2 field trips. i didnt go to either one. one was a class (not mine) went to norman and another was ap kids went somewhere. i was in ap but switched out. oh well i dont really care.

so my diet sucks. im hungry. and its hard b/c im not used to not eating. and everything revolves around eating!!! grrrr!!

i have lost 3 lbs but idk if it is real fat.

damn im such a freakin fatty!! im following my ABC diet. but i am still fat. my boyfriend called me fat today. i cried in a class because i was so damn frustrated with myself. ughhhh i hate my self... fml!!!

well tomorrow im starting the ABC diet. wish me luck!!! hopefully i can stick to it. i have a problem with that!!

well my life is sucking right now. my boyfriend keeps being really mean to me. he is going on a trip soon. he told me he doesnt want to talk to me the whole time. fml i freakin bawled. :(

i ate 955 calories today!! :( i suck. that is sooo much and i like ate not that much actual food. grrrrr.

fml

well its snowing!! ha well my day has already started off crappy.

i ate maltomeal for breakfast and jello and apple juice.

thats like a zillion celories.

grrrr :(

well shopping was good! i got a pair of miss me jeans and a skirt from abercrombie and some free undies from victorias secret. and a tank top from target and some calvin klein sweat pants :)

but i tried on way more than that and looked like a fatty :(

i had a hot dog from sams. with ketchup. (ugh im hating myself for it now!) and a sams cup of coke. real coke too. not diet. cuz diet is icky. but i should probably have drank diet because coke has lots of calories.

its raining. and its freaking cold. :( snow tomorrow. blehhh im ready for spring! snow time is gone. but apparently not! haha

well i just cracked.

i just ate 2 pieces of bread with cheese and pepperoni.

then i ate a ton of girl scout cookies.

then i ate a ton of pepperonis.

:(

i suck

well its the last day of spring break :(

but im gonna shop today! woohoo!

i havent been shopping in forever.

well i worked out today. all i have eaten is mandrain orange in jello. its only like 50 calories!! yayy!!

im gonna try to hardcore diet today because of shopping.

wish me good luck!!

I feel like a big fatty

what i ate today:

1. probiotic yogurt


2. 4 pieces of pizza


3. orange crush


4. english breakfast tea
   

thats about it. yuck :(

i wish i looked like these girls!!

March 18, 2010

Hey everyone. This is my first blog (duh). This blog is going to be mostly Pro Ana. I'm going to kinda stay anonomyous but I will tell you about myself. I live in Oklahoma. I am 17 years old. I have a boyfriend and we have been going out for a while and it has beeen good for the most part. We have our ups and downs, just like any other relationship. I am fat. I have been on the diet rollercoaster for a long time. That is what i made this for mostly. I am 5'5". I weigh about 178 lbs. I have done pretty much every diet but i mostly just don't eat for a while. But, i end up losing it about the 3rd day and eat everything in freakin sight. It sucks. I don't look how much i weigh. I wear about a large or extra large in like fitted shirts and an 11 in pants and a medium in like t-shirts. I wear Abercrombie and Hollister clothes (I try to anyway) some times their clothes don't fit me and i just feel terrible.

Anyway... I'm on Spring Break (woohoo!) although its almost over :( my mom and i are going shopping tomorrow. I'm so excited. I havent been shopping in forever. I dont really like to shop because of the way i look. But we will see how it goes!