i did this to myself.

my life is shitty because i let it be. i really wanted to go to the football game tonight. did i? no. i wanted to have fun this year. am i going to? no. im tired of my boyfriend because he is such an ass. will i break up with him? no. i want to party and hang out with my friends. will i? no. i want to do all of these things but i wont. its because of my boyfriend. he stops me. he is blocking my fun. im sitting here creeping on my friends pics and they are all happy. they dont have a care in the world. they are just having fun. am i? no. im sitting here. hating myself. hating them being jealous and crying and possibly cutting and wishing i was them.